Tires squeal across the hot asphalt; exhaust fumes fill the air. Innocent shoppers leap to safety as cars circle the neighborhood grocery store lot in search of the ideal parking spot. Engines revving. Adrenaline rushing. The driver's sole mission is to obtain a white lined rectangle of pavement before entering the race known as shopping. As a safety precaution, competent and considerate shoppers should be aware of the distinct character traits of the three annoying types of shoppers: Hurry Harry, Suburban Sally, and Picky Pete. Knowledge of their parking-lot-to-checkout-stand habits increases the chance of avoiding a head-on collision.
The first annoying type of shopper, Hurry Harry, generally parks his dented 1967 Ford Fairland in the No Parking or Handicap zone. Stickers attached to the bumper of his tricolored heap proudly proclaim: "At least it's paid for" and "My Mercedes is in the shop." Cigarette butts and candy wrappers tumble onto the pavement as Hurry Harry, with a barrel-chested chassis and a fleshy front end, pushes his way into the grocery store. He weaves his way through the traffic of shoppers, cutting them off at the aisle intersections, creating a fourteen cart pileup. His basket overflows with instant, frozen, or ready-to-eat food. Finally, the final lap: the checkout stand. Ignoring the flashing sign for ten items or less, he dumps his purchases on the conveyer belt. He taps his foot impatiently, mumbling about the long lines, while counting another customer's dozen eggs as twelve items. When the cashier announces the total, he fumbles with a wad of bills, grumbling about the prices, before asking for a pen. A rearview mirror is necessary to avoid Hurry Harry.
... middle of paper ...
...s neat and orderly cart before heading to the checkout stand. As the cashier confirms his credit card, he rebags his items. Insurance and a solid ego are necessary if you are unfortunate enough to run into Picky Pete at the store.
In conclusion, the competent and considerate shopper is at the mercy of the three types of annoying shoppers. Unfortunately, tickets are not issued for parking thoughtlessly, driving shopping carts recklessly, blocking aisle traffic needlessly, or treating others arrogantly. However, armed with the knowledge of the habits of Hurry Harry, Suburban Sally, and Picky Pet, the average consumer may avoid a head-on collision, and possibly survive a trip to the grocery store. To be on the safe side, shoppers should reread their warranty; written in small print is a clause covering ten thousand miles or one shopping trip, whichever comes first.
Need Writing Help?
Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.Check your paper »
- “I drink to make other people more interesting.” ― Ernest Hemingway In the great world of tending bar there is a myriad selection of customers one would encounter; The Social Drinker, The Self Defined Outcast, The Fish Out of Water, and last but never the least, The Freshman. Each level of drinker has its advantages in social circles and also has equal negative repercussions. Most of these classes aren't built from years of drinking, rather are formed through the personality traits they already have developed through their childhood and young adulthood.... [tags: Classification Essay]
1017 words (2.9 pages)
- Plagiarism - Three Types of Cheaters "Fools make researches and wise men exploit them." Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines the word plagiarize as to pass off as one's own the ideas or words of another. Every student knows that plagiarism is dishonest and wrong. Why do so many students do it. Students themselves may not believe that they are plagiarizing. Many students plagiarize because of the diverse types of plagiarism which are often unknown to students. The three major types of plagiarism are shameless, haphazard and self-plagiarism.... [tags: Classification Essays Cheating ]
1464 words (4.2 pages)
- The Annoying Public Different types of people are all around, some can be found as irksome to others. Three types of annoying people exist in the world. The three types of annoying people are people who are new employees at stores, people who walk vicious dogs, and people who do ignore public signs. New people who come to work are very irritating. The first reason that new employees who work at stores are annoying is because they are not aware of their surrounding of the store. For instance, the employees do not know around the stores so they cannot help us.... [tags: classification essay]
590 words (1.7 pages)
- In sports, there are three distinct types of players. Firstly, there are those who really don't care about winning the game or about winning in general. Secondly, there are those casual players that would like to win, but they don't treat the game too seriously. Thirdly, there are those who play only to win and will settle for nothing less. Examine yourselves and see where you fit in. (The following sounds like you are trying on a pair of pants)See if you can fit into one of these categories. The first category of players contains those who couldn't care less, whether they win or lose.... [tags: Classification Essay]
858 words (2.5 pages)
- General George S. Patton once said, “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” This man obviously had the destruction of other people on his mind at the time. War includes much destruction in different ways. Along with the destruction of people is the destruction of items. All wars take place somewhere and always destroy the surrounding buildings and possessions. Self destruction is also a main part of war due to killing other people. War causes three different types of destruction: destruction of people, destruction of items, and self destruction.... [tags: Classification Essay]
670 words (1.9 pages)
- There are many types of people in the world and many types of friends. Knowing that, it becomes all the more important to select the right people so that one might have the correct friends, but which types of friends are required. There are ten different types of friends that everybody should have, each fitting into one of three categories: the occasional friends, the benefactors and the greats. The first category, the occasional friends, encompasses three friend types. The first one is the grenade.... [tags: Classification Essay, Friendship]
499 words (1.4 pages)
- As the owner of three unique pups, I know that dogs’ variances are numerous. Any one who owns a dog knows that it has a mind of its own, and therefore a unique personality. Having had many dogs throughout my life, I have found that dogs fit into three classifications. Annie dogs As princesses of the canine universe, Annie type dogs have a loving yet manipulative personality. An Annie dog assumes the role of queen bee. As leader of the pack, she keeps everybody in line. She dominates all of the other dogs, often by physical herding or malicious growl.... [tags: Classification Essay]
912 words (2.6 pages)
- Types of Gas Pumpers There are many types of people who purchase gasoline, but three types are easy to spot. All three have an obvious physical appearance which sets them apart from other gas purchasers. Each also has a distinctive pumping technique and freely vocalizes his opinion. Finally, each type has a particular way of annoying every other patron at the same location. The first type of gas purchaser is Leisure Lou. He can be identified immediately by his appearance. He drives a station wagon with wooden side panels and a bumper sticker that tells the world that he is retired.... [tags: Classification Essays]
979 words (2.8 pages)
- Classification Essay –The Types of Kids that Make Up My Generation One of the things that has troubled me as of late is my generation. The generation that is referred to is the group of people currently aged 15-21 - whether or not this is a "generation," so to speak, is irrelevant. These people, for the most part, disturb me. It frightens me to know that the people that I've grown up with are going to be leading the country and the world in the decades to come. The overwhelming majority of the kids that I've come in contact with over the past few years are apathetic monsters.... [tags: Classification Essays Teen Teenager]
1157 words (3.3 pages)
- Classifications of Beer What's more refreshing on a hot summer day than an ice cold beer. How about drinking a cold one with some friends at a local bar after a hard day's work, sounds satisfying doesn't it. Beer has been around for hundreds years and will be around for hundreds more. A beer is any variety of alcoholic beverages produced by the fermentation of starchy material derived from grains or other plant sources.... [tags: Classification Essay]
1332 words (3.8 pages)